Greater Worth Than Gold

In all honesty I must admit that the last week has been hard. My incoming support both prayer and financial has slowed down tremendously. I have allowed myself to get discouraged and down and I have even began to second guess that I will be ready to go in January. I am ashamed to say this, ashamed that I would even question what God is doing. He is FAITHFUL! Even though it may seem slow now He is in control and I TRUST that I will go in HIS perfect time.

Yesterday I was reading my Bible and I came across 1 Peter 1:6-8

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy

God has a plan for the pain and suffering I feel waiting to return to China but in the past few days I have realized that I don't want to waste this precious time of waiting. God doesn't waste anything!

Update

I wanted to update since its been a while. God is faithful and continues to bring in the money that I need. Currently I am at 10% of the monthly support that I need as well as 10% of the one time support that I need. Everyday I look forward to checking the mail to see how God is going to provide. Its exciting to watch him work.

I had the opportunity to speak with both Mike and Deena (the couple who runs Loaves and Fishes) over the phone and Ashlea (a girl from Australia who I will working with at the foster home) over facebook chat. Talking to them has made me even more eager to go. Hearing them talk about what kids I will be working with and the plans that they have for me brings joy and excitment.

Its crazy to think that if God provides the money, I will be on a plane in less then 3 months on my way!!! I can't wait to see how He will work.

1st Official Support

I got home from work tonight and checked my mailbox and guess what I found...my first official prayer support and financial support!!! I was thrilled beyond excitement. God is so good and continues to work through this journey He has me on in amazing ways. I feel so blessed to be a part of this adventure. Thank you for joining with me!

HE always provides!

Towards the end of last week I was beginning to worry about the costs of supplies for support raising. I purchased these things several weeks ago but wasn't able to send them out as soon as I was hoping because of the small glitch of not having an organization to take my money. So I had put these costs on my credit card praying that God would provide the money in HIS time. Its about time to pay my bill and as of Saturday morning I didn't have the money to pay off this purchase on my credit card. As I began to worry I remembered that I had $100.00 set aside for China that I could use but I was still needing about $100.00 more.

Well, one of my very best friends came to me on Saturday with $109.00 and said she had been saving this money all summer for me to put towards China. How cool of God to provide this money, the perfect amount that I needed, just at the right time, and to do it through someone who is closest to my heart.

One of my favorite things about my China journey so far is seeing God work, seeing Him provide for my every need, and seeing Him work so beautifully for His own Glory... I love it!!!

Thank you God!!!

Friends HE has heard our prayers and HE has answered!!! God has provided an organization to collect my funds! I am in awe of how HE works and excited to see how HE will continue to reveal Himself in this great journey I am on. Thanks for joining me in prayer!

- Alyssa

Call to Prayer

I need your help! We need to pray. My support letters are printed, the envelopes are addressed, tbey are ready to be mailed but I have a problem. I need an organization that would be willing collect my funds, someone who can make those donations tax deductable. I can't send out my letters till I know where the funds need to be sent. I have been in this waiting stage for almost 4 weeks now. I am trusting God that He will provide the right organization in His right time. I know He has called me to this work in China and therefore I know He will work out all of the deatils but friends will you join me in praying as we wait on Him to work? Also, if you have any ideas of an organization that would have the capability to do this would you let me know?

Waiting to see how He will work!

Alyssa

It's Time!

Friends,

Little did I know that when I wrote that "last blog" back in December that it would not be the "last blog" after all! God is working and I am in the midst of preparing to go back to China!!! I am so filled with excitement. I can't even explain the emotions inside of me. I will be parterning with Loaves and Fishes Intl. to serve in their foster home in south east China. I just can't fathom the fact that my dream of over 5 years is in the works of becoming a reality!

God first spoke the words of "It's Time!" about 6 weeks ago. At first I thought I miss heard Him and asked for confirmation on many occasions but He was faithful and continued to speak the same words. After seeking the council of many wise adults and many hours spent in prayer and the Bible I feel that this is what He is leading me to do 110%. God works in little ways everyday to continue to remind that this is the path that He wants me walking right now. Just one example, I had my support letters printed at Kinkos on Thursday. I went in that morning to print them but there was some complications and so I needed to come back later that evening. When I came back there was a different clerk working and after printing my letters he told me the total would be $69.98 I said, "I'm so sorry but I don't think you charged me enough" (It was supposed to be $140.00 before tax) he said, "No its okay I only charged you for half." Can you believe God's provision! He is already providing for my financial needs and the first support letter has not even been sent out yet! I am so in awe of Him and the ways that He works.

Well, that is all for now I just wanted to send an update and let you all know how the Lord has been working. As you think of it could you please be praying for me as the I start the support raising process. I have never done this before and therefore feel as though Im walking into it blind. A good friend told me the other day "Alyssa, your support has already been raised all you have to do is find those people." How true is that! God has already raised the money. Please pray that I would seek His face on how to go about finding the people He wants to use.

Thank you friends!
Love, Alyssa

The Last Blog

Friday Dec. 7th I woke up bright and early to start one of the most bittersweet days of my life thus far. I said goodbye to my Chinese friends, I said goodbye to Xiamen University, I said goodbye to Xiamen city, the place that I had lived for 101 days. I said goodbye to Dr. Jay the director of my program. I then boarded the plane in Xiamen. When we landed in Hong Kong I said goodbye to my roommate, Michelle one of my best friends during my time in China. When I boarded the plane in Hong Kong I said goodbye to China. I had cried tears throughout the day but I lost it when we took off in HK. I was leaving, leaving this place of my heart. When we landed in LA I was on US soil for the first time in 101 days I was excited to know I was back yet depressing to know I was really gone. Here I said goodbye to the rest of my team the people that I had lived, eaten, traveled, and learned with over the past months. Saying goodbye was hard because I didnt know if I would ever see them again. I said goodbye to the support system, the prayer partners, and the best friends during my time abroad. It was surreal. I then started the last leg of my journey, the journey home to my family. When I landed in St. Louis I didnt know what to think, in just a few seconds I would be seeing those that I hadnt seen for months and the excitment of that was unbearable but at the same time the reality was real... I was no longer in China. It was over, it was done. I got off the plane to see 21 smiling faces, 21 people that I loved dearly, 21 people that I couldnt embrace fast enough. And that was my day, the most bitter sweet day I have ever lived.

I want to sum up what I learned and what happened inside of me while I was in China. It really would be impossible to fully do that but here is my best shot...The truth is this trip was the time of my life but also one of the hardest times of my life. I went to that place 122 days ago a girl who didnt know if she could handle the independance or the distance from her friends and family, a girl who was timid and shy and scared of this BIG BIG world that sat in front of her, a girl who thought she was called to china, a girl who thought she loved that place, and I sit here today a girl who handled and even grown to love the independence that she experienced there, a girl who missed her family and friends dearly but was ok because she had her GOD to walk her though each day, a girl who overcame her fears and insecurites and not only survived in that BIG BIG world of China but thrived, a girl knows she is called to China, a girl who knows that she LOVES that place and a girl that is just waiting on HIS timing to bring her her back to this place of her heart.

I have been home for 3 weeks exactly. It seems like years since I left Xiamen. My whole time there honestly feels like a fragement of my imagination. Those people, places, events feel like something that has been lost in time. I hold them in my heart, I meet them in my dreams, I see them in the faces of those around me every day but I never actually get to hear them or smell them or feel their presence around me. Im getting used to this empty feeling in my heart. Im getting used to the hole. I know I should move on. I know that China, CSP Fall '07 is just a short phase in my life but I feel like it has been engraved into my soul it has become a part of who I am. Fact of the matter is it has become a part of who I am. No matter how hard I try I can never forget it, I can never walk away from it. It will always be here. I will always feel it. I know its time to walk forward but I feel like I dont fit in here anymore. I feel like I dont think the same, look at things the same way, or interact with people the same way as I used to. I feel that I am standing on a bridge. A bridge that gaps two worlds. My arms are being pulled in two directions one back to China the place of my heart the other forward towards my family and life in the states, in a sense the rest of my life sits on this side of the bridge. I chose to walk forward. No matter how hard it is I chose to walk forward towards the future. I will hold onto these memories I will hold on to these times but instead of letting them hold me back and hinder me I choose to let them walk beside me pushing me towards what lies ahead. I know that China is not over. I know I will go back so until that time comes I will walk forward waiting for that day...

The End is Here

Well the bags are packed, the room is cleaned, the last of the last have been done. Tonight me and my friends are just going to hang out together watching movies and talking. We leave here at 10 am tomorrow morning (my Friday Dec. 7th). I will land in LA around 3pm Central time (your Friday afternoon). Please pray for me as I say goodbye to this amazing adventure that I have been on for the past 3.5 months. It has been the time of my life!

I cant wait to see all of you and hug you and share my stories with you.

Zaijian (See you later) from Xiamen!

Time

Well the first of the lasts have started. Our last time at the orphanage, our last time at the Chinese Church , my last time getting my hair cut here, my last few times riding the bus, my last time going to class, my last time writing papers or doing assignments for CSP!, my last time calling people before I go home, my last time doing laundry without a dryer, my last time buying things with Chinese money, my last time seeing little kids pee on the streets, my last time eating my favorite Chinese dishes, my last time counting down the days by months or even weeks, Just three months ago I was doing all of these things for the first time and now I'm beginning to do all of them for the last time.
Time is weird...you feel like somethings will never happen, somethings will never come and then in the blink of an eye it is over and done with and you find yourself standing on the other side feeling like a whirlwind just hit you, feeling all out sorts, feeling like you don't even know what you should be feeling.