The Last Blog

Friday Dec. 7th I woke up bright and early to start one of the most bittersweet days of my life thus far. I said goodbye to my Chinese friends, I said goodbye to Xiamen University, I said goodbye to Xiamen city, the place that I had lived for 101 days. I said goodbye to Dr. Jay the director of my program. I then boarded the plane in Xiamen. When we landed in Hong Kong I said goodbye to my roommate, Michelle one of my best friends during my time in China. When I boarded the plane in Hong Kong I said goodbye to China. I had cried tears throughout the day but I lost it when we took off in HK. I was leaving, leaving this place of my heart. When we landed in LA I was on US soil for the first time in 101 days I was excited to know I was back yet depressing to know I was really gone. Here I said goodbye to the rest of my team the people that I had lived, eaten, traveled, and learned with over the past months. Saying goodbye was hard because I didnt know if I would ever see them again. I said goodbye to the support system, the prayer partners, and the best friends during my time abroad. It was surreal. I then started the last leg of my journey, the journey home to my family. When I landed in St. Louis I didnt know what to think, in just a few seconds I would be seeing those that I hadnt seen for months and the excitment of that was unbearable but at the same time the reality was real... I was no longer in China. It was over, it was done. I got off the plane to see 21 smiling faces, 21 people that I loved dearly, 21 people that I couldnt embrace fast enough. And that was my day, the most bitter sweet day I have ever lived.

I want to sum up what I learned and what happened inside of me while I was in China. It really would be impossible to fully do that but here is my best shot...The truth is this trip was the time of my life but also one of the hardest times of my life. I went to that place 122 days ago a girl who didnt know if she could handle the independance or the distance from her friends and family, a girl who was timid and shy and scared of this BIG BIG world that sat in front of her, a girl who thought she was called to china, a girl who thought she loved that place, and I sit here today a girl who handled and even grown to love the independence that she experienced there, a girl who missed her family and friends dearly but was ok because she had her GOD to walk her though each day, a girl who overcame her fears and insecurites and not only survived in that BIG BIG world of China but thrived, a girl knows she is called to China, a girl who knows that she LOVES that place and a girl that is just waiting on HIS timing to bring her her back to this place of her heart.

I have been home for 3 weeks exactly. It seems like years since I left Xiamen. My whole time there honestly feels like a fragement of my imagination. Those people, places, events feel like something that has been lost in time. I hold them in my heart, I meet them in my dreams, I see them in the faces of those around me every day but I never actually get to hear them or smell them or feel their presence around me. Im getting used to this empty feeling in my heart. Im getting used to the hole. I know I should move on. I know that China, CSP Fall '07 is just a short phase in my life but I feel like it has been engraved into my soul it has become a part of who I am. Fact of the matter is it has become a part of who I am. No matter how hard I try I can never forget it, I can never walk away from it. It will always be here. I will always feel it. I know its time to walk forward but I feel like I dont fit in here anymore. I feel like I dont think the same, look at things the same way, or interact with people the same way as I used to. I feel that I am standing on a bridge. A bridge that gaps two worlds. My arms are being pulled in two directions one back to China the place of my heart the other forward towards my family and life in the states, in a sense the rest of my life sits on this side of the bridge. I chose to walk forward. No matter how hard it is I chose to walk forward towards the future. I will hold onto these memories I will hold on to these times but instead of letting them hold me back and hinder me I choose to let them walk beside me pushing me towards what lies ahead. I know that China is not over. I know I will go back so until that time comes I will walk forward waiting for that day...

The End is Here

Well the bags are packed, the room is cleaned, the last of the last have been done. Tonight me and my friends are just going to hang out together watching movies and talking. We leave here at 10 am tomorrow morning (my Friday Dec. 7th). I will land in LA around 3pm Central time (your Friday afternoon). Please pray for me as I say goodbye to this amazing adventure that I have been on for the past 3.5 months. It has been the time of my life!

I cant wait to see all of you and hug you and share my stories with you.

Zaijian (See you later) from Xiamen!

Time

Well the first of the lasts have started. Our last time at the orphanage, our last time at the Chinese Church , my last time getting my hair cut here, my last few times riding the bus, my last time going to class, my last time writing papers or doing assignments for CSP!, my last time calling people before I go home, my last time doing laundry without a dryer, my last time buying things with Chinese money, my last time seeing little kids pee on the streets, my last time eating my favorite Chinese dishes, my last time counting down the days by months or even weeks, Just three months ago I was doing all of these things for the first time and now I'm beginning to do all of them for the last time.
Time is weird...you feel like somethings will never happen, somethings will never come and then in the blink of an eye it is over and done with and you find yourself standing on the other side feeling like a whirlwind just hit you, feeling all out sorts, feeling like you don't even know what you should be feeling.

Saying goodbye to the kiddos

Yesterday was our last day with the kids at the orphanage. When we got there they were playing outside. We brought paper, crayons, playdough, candy, and some little rubber balls for each of them. They loved it! They were so cute.
Xin Yue, the little girl that I really love is doing so much better. Normally she is very reserved and non-interactive but yesterday she was smiling at me and playing peek-a-boo with me and she even let me pick her up and hold her which she normally doesn't.
The time seemed to fly by I couldn't believe it when Doris, the lady who always takes us, said it was time to go. When I said goodbye to the kids I wish I could have talked to them more to tell that how much I loved each one of them and how much they had touched my life but all I could say was "Zai Jian" (goodbye) and pat them on the head or give them a high five or a hug.
I kissed Xin Yue on the check and said a litle prayer that God would hold her tight then I handed her to her nannie. The kids then ran in side and we turned around to leave. As soon as they were out of sight I lost it. The tears flowed like the flood gates had just opened. It just broke my heart to think that I would never see these kids again and that that I was going home to my nice home and family back in the States and that they had to stay here with no one to love them and no one to call them their own.
Even though I know that time will pass and my life will get busy and the impact that these kids made on my life this semester will most likely fade I know that I will never forget them and that they will always have a special place in my heart.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmzXroCo9SI this is the link to my taiji routine that I learned this semester

It's begining to look a lot like Christmas

So the other day I walked into Wal-Mart (that in itself seems wierd enough, Wal-mart in China!) and was surpirsed to see that they had a whole section full of Christmas decorations. Now, China doesnt celebrate Christmas so this seemed a little wierd :) They had garland, Christmas light, ornaments, stockings, fake snow, trees, window clings, the whole shabang! Even the registeres had signs that said Merry Christmas in Chinese!

The funniest thing to me was this little santa house they had set up. It cracks me up that he is sitting around the table drinking tea. Its so funny to me how everyone sees things through the eyes of their own culure. In America you would never see Santa drinking tea but it totally make sense here beause they do that all the time.

My and my friends bought a whole bunch of decorations because we decided to have a Christmas party with our Chinese friends. We are going to have it on Thursday, our last night here.

Before seeing these decorations it didnt seem possible that it could be time for Christmas already but now I am super excited and cant wait to get home to celebrate with my family and friends.

Last Day of Class

Today we finished our Chinese Painting, TaiJi and Eastern Philosophy and Religions Class. I cant belive I'm done! When I recieved my syllabis 3 months ago I was totally overwhelmed not knowing how I would get thorugh all of my classes. Well, I did and on top of that I passed all of them which is always a plus :) Here are some pictures...

My EPR Prof.

My Taiji Class

My Chinese painting Class

My final project for painting

Answered Prayer

God is so good! Just last night I wrote about what a hard time I was having. How I was feeling really torn and just not sure what to feel about anything that is going on around me.

Today I woke up feeling so much better. I feel that I have mourned leaving this place and these people and I am ready to move on. I am super excited to get back to America. The thought of stepping off the plane in LA and being on American soul just makes me so excited :) I feel like just yesterday I was boarding the plane in LA thinking "this is the last time on American soil in a long time" and in just 9 short days I will be back. Its crazy.

God is good. He really did answer my cry for help. For now He has healed my heart and brought me to a place where I am ok with leaving this place and exited to back to life in the states.

2 more days of classes and then a couple days of debriefeing and I will be done!

Heart Ache

So, Im really haivng a hard time these last few days. The best way I know to put it is just that my heart hurts. I feel like it has been ripped in two. I absolutely can't wait to go home. Everyday I am counting down but there is another part of me that just really doesnt want to leave China. I really really like it here, actually its more than that I LOVE it here. I just feel so confused. I knew that this would happen, that I would come to the end of my time and not want to leave but I dont think I realized the magnitude of how it would make me feel. One of the things that I loved about having my family is here is that for 8 short days my two worlds (china and home) where combined. It was amazing!

We had dinner with our Chinese friends tonight and we were planning out all of the things that we want to do before we go home. It so wierd that we have spent three months with them and in a few short days I will probably never see them again. Same way with my friends from my group. We have lived, traveled, studied, ate, went though good times, and bad times together over these past 100 days and most likely when we say goodbye in LA that will be the end. Its just wierd to me. Its wierd how people come into our life and quickly go while others stay for your whole lifetime. Its wierd how we are all walking down our path of life and sometimes the path crosses with a particular person and you grow to know them, love them and learn from them and then there are others that we will never meet. Other people that we will never encouter. Its funny how God works. Its funny that 3 months ago I knew none of these people. I didnt know their faces, their names, their life stories, their passions and dreams and now I do but will have to leave them all too soon!

The same goes for the kids in the orphanage. Why is it that the 20 kids that I have been playing with over the past months why was it those specific kids? there are millions of orphans. God could have crossed my path with so many different ones but for some reason he chose these specific kids, these specific smiles and heart aches, these specific laughs and tears all for me to spend time with and love on. For some reason he put me in their life and he put them in my life. Why is it that he gave me such a love for my little precious girl Xin Yue. Why do I feel so burdened to find a family to adopt her? Why does the thought of saying goodbye to her on Saturday make my eyes well up with tears? I dont know why I probably never will.

So in all of this I guess I have just been thinking alot lately. A lot about God, his creation, his plans and how his plans are not my plans and his ways are not my ways. Part of me wishes that I could know all of the answers to these questions but then there is another part of me that is glad that I will never know because that is the beauty of faith; being able to look to God and not know the answers but being ok becuase I know that He loves me and that He is in control.

10 days and I will be home, I will be hugging all of you that I have missed so dearly, all you that have provided with me love and encouragement that has helped me to make it though these past 3 months. If I could ask for prayer from all of you that would be amazing. Please pray that God would heal my heart. That he would help me to hold onto every moment that I have left here in China and that He would prepare me for the changes that are ahead in the coming days. Love you all!

Portrait

Currently I am taking a Chinese painting class. It meets 4x a week for 3 weeks. We are in our last week of classes here so I am almost done with it. My teacher does really amazing portraits of people so I asked him if he would draw me. He gladly agreed saying that I would only be his second foreigner that he has ever drawn. Yesterday afternoon me and my friend Tiffani went over to his apartment and he sketched me. It took 3 hours but he did a really great job. I was so happy with how it turned out. He told me he would give it to me today at class. When class was over today I asked him if I could have it and he said that he couldnt give it to me because his professor wanted it to stay in the art school here in Xiamen as an example for other art students. I was really really dissapointed because i was hopeing to be able to take it home. He told me that he would be happy to do it again but my time is running out so im not sure if it will happen or not. Anyways in the end its kind of a bummer that i dont get to keep it but its kinda cool that my portrait is going to go up on the wall in the art building here at Xiamen University

I took my family to the airport last night to fly back to the States. It was so great having them here. I loved showing them around Xiamen. I loved that they got see the things, the places, the people that I have grown to love so much over these past months. Having them come to China was such a precious gift. Something that I will always remember!

Here are few more pictures from their time here...

Me and my momma

My Dad and I

Me and Lindsy at the volcano park

(Before we were confronted by the chinese men in uniform :)

When in China... you never know what the day will hold!

This morning I woke up at 6:45 becuase I had a date with my dad at McDonalds for breakfast so I got ready and then we walked to Mcd. which is about 10 min. from the hotel that my family is staying at. We had a great breakfast and a great talk. When we returned Milly, Lindsy and my mom were all ready to go so we left the hotel. We were headed to Volcano park. 4 of my friends went last week and said it was beautiful so we decided to check it out.
We walked to the bus stop and waited about 10 minutes until the #2 bus came. It took us 2 stops down the road where we got off and crossed a very busy street. Since I had never been here before and don't know how to read chinese characters I asked several people along the way "Zhong Zhou Por zai nali" (translation: where is Zhong Zhou port?) They all pointed me straight ahead. Finally we found the port bought our 5 tickets and boarded the boat. The boat took us about 30 min. across the water where we got off and then proceded to find the bus that would drive us to the volcano. Before I knew what was hapening I was surronded by about 10 different chinese people all speaking very loudly at me trying to get me to get on THEIR bus. After much frustration we found a private bus who would take us for 70 kuai which is about 10 dollars. The drive was about 45 minutes. When we arrived at the gate there was again much frustration and chinese rambling none of which I understood. Finally they let us go through.
When we arrived at the volcano all we could see was the ocean. It was beautiful and clear water with big black volcanic rocks. As we walked down the beach there was a large hill/small mountain that we decided to climb thinking that maybe that was the volcano. Lindsy, Milly and I climbed up and my mom and dad followed behind. When got to the top there was a medium sized sign that said "Military base stop! No photography" We quickly read the sign and then proceded onward. When we got to the top it was gorgeous and there was no one in sight so the three of us got out our cameras to video tape the view. Before we knew it there was a little chinese man in uniform running towards us. He had a great big smile on his face and was trying to talk to us. He was also motioning for us to come with him. We thought that he wanted to show us around but after alot of rambling and half way communication back and forth we decided not to follow him and to make our way back down the mountain. Mom, Milly and Lindsy where in front and made it half was down but my dad and I were stopped by men in unform this time there were about 4 of them. They were trying to talk to us in chinese but I couldn't really make out what they were saying. We tried to continue down the mountain but they stopped us and wouldnt let us leave. They kept pointing towards their military base motioning for us to go with them. We said no and kept trying to walk forward but they wouldnt let us. They started to get sterner and so did we. At this point there were about 10 -12 army men. It was getting a little nerve wracking because we didnt understand what they were saying. Then a few of them went down after mom, milly and lindsy. They stood by them so that they wouldnt get away. The rambling continued for me and dad. The men kept pointing to the sign that said no photgraphy and making the motion of taking a picture. Eventually the men that were down with the girls had brought them up towards us. We were getting very frustrated and were getting more stern with them as they were with us. Next their commander came out and in very broken English asked to see our camera. So we showed him the camera and after looking through about 200 pics on there he asked to see the others' cameras. We wanted to walk down to them but they wouldnt let us. They pulled out their cell phone and called someone who knew Chinese and English when I talked to her she said that they wanted our passports. I explained that we didnt have them because they were at our hotel. When they translated this back to the commander he let us walk down towards the girls. The commander checked moms camera and then said he was sorry but he had to do that and he let us go.
It was very intense. At one point I think there was a total of about 20 men in uniform surronding us. It wouldnt have been so bad If I could speek the language but I just really couldnt communicate with them. After they let us go we got away as quickly as possible and waited an hour for our drived to come back and get us. We never did end up seing the volcano which I think is pretty funny becasuse thats the whole reason why we went. haha!
Our driver ended up being 30 min early which was a huge blessing. He drove us back to the port where we bought our tickets back to Xiamen. While we where in line for the boat we were met by two drunks guys behind us who were trying to talk to Lindsy. That was a little nerve wracking. Eventually we made it back to Xiamen where we caught a taxi which brought us back to our hotel.
It sure was an eventful day. We probably should not have taken any video since the sign said so but it was really hard becuase the scene was gorgeous and it didnt seem like anyone was even around to see us doing it.
Even though days like this frustrate the living daylights out of me, in the end I am always thankful for the experience because it helps me learn more about the culture and it always makes for a good story to tell :)
My family leaves tomorrow. It has been so great having them here with me. I have loved it. I am sad to see them go but I will get to see them in 14 days when I get home :)
I packed up the majority of my stuff tonight to send home with them. My room seems pretty empty. Its so crazy that 2 weeks from right now I will be on a plane crossing the Pacific Ocean on my way back to the states. Where has the time gone? How does 3 months fly by so quickly? I cried my first tears about leaving this place tonight. Im sure there will be more to follow. My heart feels so torn. I know it will be a process; saying goodbye to this place and these people and re-entering into the American culture but I also know that as God held my hand through every step of preparing to come here, traveling here, and living here, he will also hold my hand as I prepare to go home, travel home, and re-adjust to being in America. HE is a good God and I trust Him with it all.

Happy Thanksgiving

I have never spent Thanksgiving in another country before. It was a little wierd because it was Thanksgiving but it didnt really feel like it because we didnt do any of the normal things that we do on Thanksgiving; No cinnamon rolls for breakfast, no football in the backyard witht the Arnolds, no Macy's Thanksgiving day Parade, no cooking in the kitchen, no little kiddos running around our house. It has been a little strange but I am so thankful that some of my family was here with me in China to celebrate the day. We had a good breakfast here in the hotel, then went to the botanical gardens which was absolubely incredible! Oh my goodness it was breathtaking. I loved every minute of it. This afternoon we took a drive around the island and saw the beach, scenery, statues, and other cool stuff to see here in Xiamen.

Tonight for dinner we went to a restaurant called The House. It was so good. I had Chesse and spinach raviollie in a butter garlic sauce with Chocolate Molton Cake for dessert. AMAZING!!!

The past couple of days we have just been hanging out. I have been showing them around Xiamen, the campus, the places where I shop and eat. Yesterday we went to Gulongyu Island which is about a 10 min ferry ride from Xiamen. We did some shopping there and hit up McDonalds for dinner which is always a personal favorite of mine.

At the beach right by campus

The view of Xiamen from Gulongyu Island

Dinner at McDonalds

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope that you have a great day with your family and friends. I am so thankful for each one of you and love you all dearly.

My Family is Here!

Wow it has been really long since I last wrote. Things have been pretty busy. We got home from The Trek, our two week travel, last Friday, the 9th. It was so good to be back in Xiamen and it was so wonderful to be back in the warm weather, oh how I had missed that! The weekend was spent just hanging out and relaxing which was great after two weeks of non stop moving and sightseeing. On Monday we started our Chinese Painging, and Tai Ji classes. They are amazing! Chinese painting is so fun. I didnt realize how much i had missed using the creative part of my brain and tai ji reminds me a little of yoga. Its very slow and relaxing. It really stretches your muscles and just feels good!

My famiy arrived here in Xiamen yesterday afternoon. It is so amazing to have them here with me. I have missed them so much! It's also really great that I can show them where I have been living and what I have been doing for the past 3 months. Its funny to see China through their eyes, the same eyes that I had only 3 months ago. I didnt realize how much I had become accustomed to the culture and my surrondings.

Once they arrived yesterday they mostly just recovered from jet lag. Today they came to the orphange with me. They got to play with and interact with the kids. They also got to meet my special little girl. She gets better and better every week! Before when you looked at her it was like staring into a blank wall and now she laughs and smiles and interacts. It has been fun to see her develop over these past months. Sadly I only have one more saturday with her. Next week we have Thanksgiving break and then 2 weeks after that I will be on a plane on my way home. How crazy it is that I only have 20 days left in this amazing place.

The Things you eat in China..

Yesterday I ate Dog!!! Yea its pretty much disgusting. It took me a while to try it because all I could think of was my sweet little Essy dog. It was really tough meat and not very appetizing but donkey on the other hand was pretty tasty!

Yes that pretty plate in the middle

with the pink flower is DOG!

Today we did some English teaching at a rural junior high school. It was so much fun to be with the kids and see their school. I think they enjoyed it too. We played Head and Shoulders Knees Toes and Simon Says. They like it a lot

This afternoon we had the opportunity to go to a univeristy here and talk with some students It was fun to meet new people but tiring at the same time.

Tomorrow we travel to Shanghai and then back to Xiamen, home sweet home, on Friday!

Pictures

The Terra Cotta Soldiers

Me and Tiff with a Soldier

Katie, me and Kindra on the train to Beijing

On the Great Wall!!! It was incredible

The view from the hightest point we climbed.

It was gorgeous.

Home is where the heart is

So as I wrote in my last update we are currently in Beijing. Its amazing here. I absolutely love it. Yesterday I was riding in the back of our bus as we were on our way to visit The Summer Palace and as I looked out the window all I could see was China. There were chinese kids playing at the park, chinese food in the streets, chinese characters everywhere I looked, chinese cars. chinese everything and crazy enough all I could think was "this is it its everything I ever dreamed it would be and I am finally here" Right after thinking this i thought to myself "how can all of these things being so foreign and so differnt and so far away from anything that i have ever known before feel so right and so familiar and in a way so at home?" I dont really know the answer to this question it is still puzzling me. I layed in bed last night trying to figure it out as I was falling asleep and when I woke up this morning I still didnt have an answer but for now all I can come up with is just the fact that when God places something on your heart it is real and it is from Him and he enables you to do whatever He has called you to do. He has placed China on my heart and He has made me fall in love with this place and these people, He has made it part of who I am. The saying comes to my mind "home is where the heart is" as far as this goes I guess I have two homes, one with my family and friends and the other here in China, this place of my heart. I think i will always be torn between these two worlds because they both make up so much of who I am and who I want to be.

The Great Wall

Yesterday I visited the Great Wall!!! It was incredible, even greated than I imagined it would be. The sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. You could see for miles. It was hard work though. It was pretty steep and there were a lot of stairs to climb but it was so worth it. It was pretty much amazing!

On Sunday we visited the Terra Cotta Soldiers. That was really cool too. It's just so incredible to be in the midst of all of this history, to think of all of the influential people who walked in/on these places that I am visiting. Its great! So in two days I saw 2 of the 8 wonders of the world- The Terra Cotta Soldiers and The Great Wall.

Today we visted The Summer Palace the place where the emperors would live in the summer time. It was huge! 4x the size of the Forbidden City which is the size of 437 White Houses!

Xi'an

Well we arrived here in Xi'an yesterday afternoon. The weather was a huge shock! I went from 85 degres to 40 degress. CRAZY!!! Yesterday we just walked around town and did a little shopping. Today we did a lot of sight seeing. We visited the place where Laozi wrote the Dao Da Jing, the book for Daoism and then rode horses up to the Nestorian Pagoda. The Nestorians were the first people to bring Christianity to China. After that we rode the bus to visit a caligraphy museum. It was a bummer though because the museum was outside and it was raining so it was a little hard to enjoy it. Right now im sitting in starbucks catching up with family and friends. Tomorrow we are visiting the Terra Cotta soldiers so I will write more after that!

I made it through finals!!!

I took my last final today. I am so relived to have it all behind me. I have decided that this is the hardest semester academically that I have ever had. I thought I was going to fail my Chinese 1 class but somehow I ended up with a B- I have never been so happy with a B in my life!

Tomorrow we leave for the TREK our two week travel around China. First we visit Xi'an then Beijing, Shandong province, and lastly Shanghai. I cant wait its going to be amazing! I will try to update and post pictures throughout my trip.

One of my Economics teachers. His name means

Thunder from Heaven!

My other Economics teacher, Professor Liao. The cutest old man ever!

Xiamen Hospital

So last night I had a little scare and had to make a trip over to the ER. Yesterday afternoon my heart started beating irregularly every so often. Then my left arm started to feel heavy and numb. As the night went on it got more intense and more frequent. So I went to the ER just to make sure that everything was ok. It was chaotic! There were a lot of people there and China doesnt believe in lines so you have to be aggressive and push your way to the front of the line in order to be seen. First we went in and had a doctor look at me. He listened to my heart and filled out an order for me to have an echocardiogram. We then went the cashier and paid for the test it was 25 kuai which is the equivalent of $3.50. I couldnt believe how cheap it was! Then we went to get the test done but it took us almost 30 minutest to find where we were supposed to go. Eventually we found it, They hooked me up to some chords, did the cardiogram, told me I was fine and we were on our way. It seems a little odd to me that they only did one test but my heart stopped acting up so I guess its ok. Anyways Im glad I had the experience but I hope I never have to go back there again. The hospital was crowded and dirty and unorganized. I have never been so thankful for Bromenn Hospital in my life!

My Heart...

Well, it happened I knew it would. I knew there was a part of me here in China I knew I would come here and I would find a piece of my heart. I found it on Saturday. We went back to the orphange. I cant explain the feeling. I cant explain what its like when you walk into a room full of children. Beautiful, innocent faces starting back at you. I walked in knowing that I would have to leave, I walked in knowing that I only had about 2 hours to give these children. I told myself to not get attached, not to let them steal my heart. But the fact of the matter is no matter how hard I tried i still got attached and instead of them stealing my heart it was among them that I found that piece of my heart. 15 little faces staring at me, 30 little hands reaching up at me to hold them, 30 almond shaped eyes that are empty are lost. I wanted to hold all of them and give each of a time and tell each of them that they were beautiful and precious and that Jesus loves them more than they will ever know but my time was limited so I asked God give me one little girl that I could love on. I wrote about this little girl the last time I posted about the orphange. Her name is Xin Yue, which means happiness, she is two years old and has been at the orphange for 1 month. Today she was especially sad and scared. She was over in the corner all by herself and in her tears and crying I picked her up and held her, rocked her and sang to her. I also prayed over her. I prayed that God would protect her and that he would send someone to adopt her. I pray that one day she has a mommy. That cry that she was crying only comes from an orphan. Its the saddest cry you will ever hear. I pray that one day God will send someone to adopt her someone to call her their own because on that day she wont cry the orphans cry anymore. At one point I wondered if I really wanted to get myself into this if I really wanted to expose myself to all of this and then I realized that this is where Jesus is at. When He was on earth He was with the widows and the orphans he was among the poorest of the poor. It will not be easy, it will be challenging and heart breaking and sad but I know this is what Jesus wants from me. This is where His heart is, this is where my heart is.

Time for another update...

Its been a while sorry about that. Things have been so busy here. We have been deep in to finals last week and this week and next week. Its crazy. But Im almost done with classes here so that is a great fealing.

Today we went and got pedicures. That was a lot of fun. It was only about 10 American dollars which was awesome. I have a feeling I'm going to come back to the states and freak out at the prices. Everything is just so cheap here its amazing.

Last week we took some Chinese friends out to Pizza Hut. It was a first for a lot of them. They loved it though.

Also, i ate at a Japanese restaurant. I never knew that raw fish tasted so good :)

My Mom sent me a package this week. Of all the people in my program I get the most mail. Its fun! Whenever people see my name in the mail log they are always like "alyssa you got another package. Good grief you are popular!"

One of my Chinese friends didnt have an english name so she asked me to give her one. After thinking about if for a long time I decided to name her Clare after my sweet little niece. She loved the name.

Ok well its getting late so I gotta go but I will try to write again soon!

Quanzhou

This past week we spent 3 days in Quanzhou. It was a lot of fun to get a way and have a change of pace. We stayed in a nice hotel, did some sight seeing, shopped, and relaxed. Oh yea.. me and my friends had a dance party too. That was way fun :) Not everyone can say that they have had a dance party in China!

We visited the oldest Islamic Mosque in China, A Buddhist temple, a Daoist temple, the 2nd largest Protestant Church in China, and a temple/shrine to Confucius. It was interesting to see all of these things. I really enjoyed it.

Thursday night me and my friends Tiffani, Cindy, and Julia rode Motorcycle taxis. It was awesome! Here are some pics of the trip...

Me and my friend Cindy

Islamic Mosque

Cool tree at the Buddhist temple.

My motorcycle ride.

Sweet little baby that I got to hold.

ROACH!!!

One night I was ready to go to bed and I walked out of my bathroom and what do you know there was a giant Cochcroach right in from of me. I of course freaked out and then put on my shoes to squawsh it but before I could get my shoes on the roach had escaped. I had to go to bed that night knowing that I had a roach in my room but having no idea where it was! It was really nerve racking. Anyways I made it through the night with out being attacked and throughout the whole next day my roommate and I didnt see it anywhere but that night Michelle was getting ready to go to bed and she looked up and the roach was crawling up the wall! She got our her shoe to kill but couldn't get up the nerve to the end the little guy's life so she went and got our friend Tiffani who happily sqwashed it! It was quit an ordeal :) Im just glad that he's dead and that I can sleep at night not worry that he is going to crawl into my bed with me!

Orphanage Visit

On saturday I had the awesome opportunity to visit an orphanage. The orphanage that we served at houses about 200 children but we only worked with 25 or 30. We played with them and taught them some songs in English like Head and Shoulders Knees and Toes and The Wheels on the Bus. It was fun. This litle boy in the pictures is probably 4 years old. He had the best smile and the best laugh! I was bouncing him on my knee and then he would start talking so that his voice would vibrate an then he would bust up laughing. It was hilarious.

There was one little girl that I had a chance to play with and hold that really touched my heart. She is maybe 3 years old but she is so tiny. She can't weigh more than 15 lbs. I got to sing the songs to her and help her do some of the motions and then I put her up on my lap and held her for a long time. She was so small I was afraid I would break her when I picked her up. I was overwhelmed by the fact that she has no family. No one that loves her and cares about her future. Its just her in this great big world.We are going back in 2 weeks I hope I get to see her again and maybe build a relationship with here during my short time here in China. I want her to know that even though she doesnt have anyone here on this earth to love her or take care of her she has Jesus who loves her more than any earthly person could possible begin to . I pray that somehow I have the opportunity to tell her this.

Meet with Me

God showed me this song the other day and it really just sums up my whole reason for being here in China. It reminds me how everything in the end is about Him I can try to make it about me and about the things that are important to me but in the end its all about Him. He is my Strength, my Protector, my Savior. He has brought me to China and I am here to meet with Him. I'm here to find Him. To find Him in the work He is doing here, to find Him in the faces of these beautiful people, to find Him in the History of this place, in the language that they speak and in the customs that they practice. Its the cry of my heart that He reveals Himself to me so as I wait, as I long, as I stand to sing His praise I pray that He meets with me...

I'm here to meet with you
come and meet with me
I'm here to find you
reveal yourself to me

As I wait, you make me strong
As I long, draw me to your arms
As I stand and sing your praise
You come, you come and you fill this place
Won't you come, Won't you come and fill this place

I'm here to meet with you
Come and meet with me
I'm here to find you,
reveal yourself to me

As I wait, you make me strong
As I long, draw me to your arms
As I stand and sing your praise
You come, you come and you fill this place
Won't you come, Won't you come and fill this place

I'm here to meet with you
Come and meet with me

Ten Shekel Shirt

A lot has happened since I last updated. Here are some of the highlights:

On Sunday we had the amazing opportunity to go to a Chinese Church. It was such an awesome experience. I will never forget it! The passion was outstanding. I bought a really neat side by side Bible that has Chinese in one column and English in the next.

On Monday we were walking to lunch and I saw this beautiful little girl. Her eyes are just captivating. They were jet black. Gorgeous!

Yesterday after class me, Meg and Yee went to the beach here for the first time. It was so nice down there. The breeze was amazing. The water is really dirty though so we couldn't swim in it.

There are definetly things here that are hard and that really challenge my patience but overall I love it! Its beyond description! I cant believe that I has been 15 days. The time has really flown. I am almost done with my second full week of classes. I think I am starting to adjust to those a little better. We have a Chinese quiz tomorrow. Those are always hard but the motivator to learning the language is that the more I learn the more I can communicate with the people here! I will write more soon but until then... Zaijian! (goodbye :)